


Recollection

by ironicpotential



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Sanvers Secret Santa 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-25 16:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17124626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicpotential/pseuds/ironicpotential
Summary: The box of Christmas decorations held much more than shiny baubles and tinsel.





	Recollection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lifeinabeautifullight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeinabeautifullight/gifts).



Both her wife and daughter are still asleep when Maggie pads into the kitchen. Everything is still in the early hours of the morning, but it’s a comfortable kind of quiet. She yawns and fixes herself a cup of coffee, letting the drink fill her body with warmth. She was thrilled when Alex assured her that a small cup every few days would be absolutely fine. She can’t imagine going cold turkey— she is a cop after all— and after the last few days, she needs the jolt of caffeine to keep her going.

Her family won’t be up for a few hours still, so she just sets out a box of cereal on the kitchen table and settles down at the breakfast nook to relax and reflect. There’s still a few boxes strewn about— they haven’t completely unpacked everything from their old apartment downtown— but their new two story house in the suburbs feels like home already.

Alex had been resistant to move at first. The apartment they’d been living in was perfect for them and they’d made so many memories there. It was the first place they’d chosen together as newlyweds and it was the place where Jamie had taken her first steps. It had seen numerous Thanksgivings and game nights. But as Jamie got older, it became clear that they needed a bigger place. Especially if they wanted to expand their little family.

It had taken months for her and Alex to find a house that checked off every box on their list, but somehow they had.

She never really expected to have this honestly: the wife, the house with a white picket fence, the dog, _the kid_. Well, two kids now, she muses, rubbing her belly absentmindedly as she flips through the Sports section of the newspaper. She’s already a few months along, but occasionally she still finds herself floored by the fact that soon there will be two Sawyer-Danvers children running around.

As if summoned by the thought, tiny feet come pattering down the hall, and Gertrude, who has been snoozing under the table by Maggie’s chair, perks up, already excited to see her favorite source of food.

Seconds later, Jamie bounds into the kitchen, followed closely by Alex, still buttoning up a flannel shirt Maggie suspects might have once been hers. The six-year-old is all smiles as she scrambles up onto a chair.  She pours some cereal into her favorite Wonder Woman bowl and tucks in, stopping only to chirp, “G’mornin’ mom!” in between bites.

Alex pours herself a cup of coffee and kisses Maggie on the cheek, sliding into the seat next to her. “Thanks for making coffee, babe.”

Maggie hums and leans into her wife’s touch. “Hey, you managed to get the kid dressed and ready in record time, it’s the least I could do.”

“Honestly I’ve had an easier time wrestling a Hellgrammite,” Alex says, “I swear I saw both pairs of her sneakers yesterday when we unpacked her room, but this morning? Gone.”

Maggie sneaks a look under the table and sure enough, tiny mismatched red and blue sneakers swing back and forth against the legs of her daughter’s chair.

“I’ll see if I can find them after I unpack the holiday decorations.” She takes another sip of her coffee, folding the newspaper back up with her free hand.  

“If anyone can, it would be you, Detective.”

“Captain.” Maggie chides, as if it isn’t banter that has been repeated hundreds of times over the years. “You sure you’re alright taking Jamie out to get the tree alone? I’d join you, but…”

“It’s fine,” Alex rests a comforting hand on Maggie’s thigh. “We’re due for an Alex and Jamie Day.”  

Maggie’s heart fills with love and gratitude. This last week had been an absolute nightmare. One of her best officers, a young kid fresh from the academy, was killed in a shootout during a hostage situation downtown. It wasn’t the first time Maggie has had to face the family of a slain officer, but it was the first time she has had to do it as their superior officer. She’s the captain. She should have been able to prevent it somehow.

So as much as she has been trying to look forward to the holiday season with her wife and daughter, all she can think about is another family grieving the loss of a son.

After breakfast, Maggie watches from the front doorway as Alex buckles their daughter into her carseat in the back of their car. She blows Alex a kiss and laughs, rolling her eyes fondly when her wife pretends to swoon. With her family off on their quest to bring back the perfect Christmas tree, Maggie moves into the living room to start her own task of detangling lights, Gertrude right at her heels.

Kara had been over the past week to help them unpack most of their things, so the living room is mostly sorted. Only a worn cardboard box with the words “XMas Decorations” in Maggie’s loopy scrawl remains. It hadn’t felt appropriate to deck the halls so soon after Officer Moore’s funeral, so she’s been putting it off; but now, with the tree incoming, it has to be done.

She sets a record down on Alex’s father’s old turntable, which springs to life with a scratch of the needle on vinyl. Alex doesn’t care much for Christmas music, but Maggie likes to hum along to the familiar tunes. Kneeling down on the carpet, she pulls a few errant strands of tinsel from the box, piling them up beside her, followed by a hopelessly tangled mass of lights. She reaches in deeper, fingertips brushing the smooth surfaces of various ornaments nestled among more layers of tinsel. She takes them out, one by one, making sure they’re all intact and thankfully, nothing seems to have shattered during the move. But as her fingers brush one specific ornament, her throat constricts.

She got it when she was a rookie in Gotham, no older than the one that was just lowered into the ground. Her fingers trace the shiny lettering on its side, _GCPD,_ and she’s taken back to her old precinct, and to the first Christmas she spent on her own.

 

* * *

 

 ****Her aunt had been so proud at her police academy graduation, watching her standing onstage in her formal uniform, that Maggie almost felt bad about leaving. But her aunt was understanding. As much as she would miss Maggie, she wanted to see her niece succeed, and they both knew that she needed to leave Nebraska to live up to her full potential.

So Maggie packed her bags and moved to Gotham City, which was always hiring officers due to their large turnover rate. She had a small apartment in a not-so-nice part of town, but she couldn’t afford much else and she wasn’t keen on trying to find a roommate.

The small television set fixed to the wall of the precinct droned on about the weather as she watched through the window as the citizens of Gotham trudged through the snow trying to get last minute gifts for their families.

“Twelve inches on Christmas Eve.” Her partner whistled from his own desk across from hers. Officer Murphy was about ten years her senior and always full of stories, some of which Maggie was fairly certain couldn’t possibly be true, but she liked him. Unlike some of the other officers, he never looked down on her for being a young woman.

She pulled her puffy police coat tighter against her body. It was chilly inside the precinct, and the rickety old heater wasn’t quite helping. She might have grown up in Nebraska, but she still didn’t like the cold. “Is it like this every year?”

Murphy leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. “Not every year. Looks like Gotham wanted to give its newest rookie a real white Christmas.”

Maggie hummed. “You headed home?”

“Yeah. The wife is already cooking dinner.” A wistful glint appears in his eye, clearly already thinking about the meal. “Thank you again, by the way.”

Maggie shrugged. “You should be able to spend time with your family.”

Murphy rose from his chair and pulled on his jacket, clapping Maggie on the back on his way out. “You’re a good kid, Sawyer.”

Over the next few hours the other cops trickled out of the precinct and soon all that was left was Maggie and two older officers she wasn’t familiar with. They offered her some spiked eggnog, but she politely turned it down. Best to stay sharp. She was on duty.

And she never was a fan of eggnog anyway.

Instead she passed the time playing a game of paper football on her desk and counting the various ornaments on the precinct Christmas tree— fifteen blue spheres, seven with the Gotham City seal, and twelve shaped like small police cars.

It was the quietest night she had ever seen in Gotham. Surprising for a city with such a high crime rate. But it seemed even the costumed kind of villains wanted to spent time with their loved ones this year.

She kicked her legs up onto her desk, pulling out a book. While her partner thought she was a shoe-in for Major Crimes, she wasn’t really keen on dealing with super-villains and working with the Bat. She joined the force to help people— especially the underrepresented like herself— and she’s heard rumors of Science Divisions popping up around the country. She’s seen the reports on the news. Metropolis was full of alien invaders, kept in check by a man in a blue and red pajamas. But Maggie knew that not all aliens were out to destroy humanity. Some were just looking for a new life and needed their rights and safety protected. And if she wanted to become a detective and pursue that career path, she had a lot to learn.

Hours later, she was startled from an article on Infernian social structure by someone clearing their throat. She swiveled around in her chair, half ready to leap into action, but it was just her partner, leaning up against one of the other desks.

The side of his mouth quirked up under his moustache in amusement. “Bit jumpy there, Sawyer.”

“Shouldn’t you be off playing Santa?” Maggie asked. Murphy wasn’t wearing his uniform and they hadn’t called for anyone else to come in, so there was no reason for him to have trudged all the way through the snow back to the precinct. Maybe he had forgotten something.

“The kids just went to bed,” he responded, “I had one other present to deliver first.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“Leftovers.” He lifted up the bag he’d been holding, then set it on her desk. “A thank you from me and mine. The apple pie is particularly good.”

She opened the bag, pulling out several Tupperware containers: one with mashed potatoes, one with ham, another with some kind of roasted vegetable. She hurried to wipe the impending tears from her eyes. She wanted to thank him, but she found herself suddenly without words.

“Merry Christmas, Sawyer.” Murphy smiled fondly at her. “Next year, we expect to see you at the table.”

While neither of them were able to make it to his house for Christmas Eve the next year— the unfortunate side effect of an poorly-timed crime spree courtesy of Mr. Freeze— her partner never forgot that first Christmas. When they finally were able to join his family on Christmas Day for lunch, she had her very own stocking hung up above the fireplace. And as she watched her partner chase his kids around the house, she thought that while she never had an older brother, this must be what it was like.

The day she left for National City, he pulled her aside and gave her a small wrapped box— an early Christmas gift that she was told not to open until the 25th. She kept that promise, tucking the box away on a shelf in her closet and it was forgotten.

That is, until she found herself working on Christmas Eve once again, a stranger in a brand new city. After a long and lonely shift, she sat down on her beat up couch and unwrapped the gift slowly, remembering how her old partner had grinned when he handed it to her.

When she opened the top of the box and saw what was inside, she barked out a laugh. Sitting among shredded bits of paper was one of the police cruiser ornaments from the GCPD tree with the following note:

_Merry Christmas Sawyer!_

_Nicked this for you so you’ll never forget your Gotham family._

_You’re always welcome for a slice of pie._

_Murphy_

Maggie didn’t have a tree that year, but that ornament held a space of honor every year after.

 

* * *

 

 ****Maggie chuckles at the memory. She definitely owes Murphy a call. The last time they had spoken, she and Alex had just had Jamie, and he had teased her about how old she was getting.

He’d been in her shoes many times before— had lost multiple officers in the line of duty. She could use his advice, but she’s pretty sure he would tell her the same thing he did every time they had a rough day on the job: to pick herself back up and keep on going.

She places the police car to the side, but not before saying a quick prayer for Officer Moore and his family.

She reaches back into the box and pulls out a mass of bubble wrap and tape— Alex’s doing. She knows immediately which one it is. It was the first gift Alex had ever given her for Christmas, and even though Alex has given her so much over the years, it still remains one of her favorites. It’s more than a silly trinket. To Maggie, it represents the moment she knew that this relationship would be different.

 

* * *

 

Maggie paced outside Alex’s apartment door.

They’d only been dating for about a month, so she hadn’t expected an invitation to the Danvers family’s Hanukkah party. Sure, she knew that Alex and her sister tended to bring in a lot of strays, but she didn’t want to assume.

In fact, when Alex asked her what her plans were for the holidays she almost wanted to lie. To tell her girlfriend that she was spending the holidays with her family back in Nebraska. She’d already lied to her once about her parents, it couldn’t hurt just to stretch the truth a little more, but this time it wouldn’t be to spare Alex’s own feelings. And while her first knee-jerk reaction was always to protect herself, she wanted this relationship to be different. So, instead of spinning a tale about catching a plane back to the middle of nowhere, she told Alex the truth.

But she didn’t get the look of pity that she expected when she told Alex about her plans to take a shift at work, followed by a glass of whiskey in her apartment. Instead, Alex just softened, taking Maggie’s hand in hers, and shyly asked if she would come around to spend Hanukkah with her.

So, there she was, standing outside her girlfriend’s apartment door, a bottle of wine in one hand, trying to muster up the courage to knock.

The door swung open before she could, revealing Alex, looking more beautiful than Maggie had ever seen her, clad in the softest red sweater, with her hair lightly curled. Alex beckoned her in with a peck on her cheek, before taking the bottle from her hands and heading to the kitchen to uncork it.

Maggie stood awkwardly in the foyer. There weren’t any other guests there, just Kara and an older woman that must be Alex’s mother, and Maggie felt suddenly very inadequate.

“Everything okay?” Alex asked as she returned to Maggie’s side, handing her a glass of wine.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Maggie took the glass gratefully. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Well, I kind of told my mom about you and well…” Alex ducked her head sheepishly. “I wanted to introduce you. As my girlfriend. If that’s alright?”

Maggie’s heart warmed. She knew that Alex was still getting used to her new normal, and while she was more than happy to take things at Alex’s pace, it meant a lot that her girlfriend felt comfortable enough to introduce her as such to her mother.

“Of course that’s all right.” Maggie took Alex’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly, and Alex beamed. She just hoped that she was able to measure up to any expectations Eliza Danvers might have of her.

But any trepidation Maggie had melted away when Eliza immediately pulled Maggie into a hug, greeting her warmly.

“Oh Alex, she’s just as beautiful as you described,” she said, “I’m so glad you could join us, sweetie.”

“I’m glad too.” Maggie cast a look back at Alex, whose eyes were shining with pure happiness. And she was glad. She wasn’t just saying that to be nice. Being here with Alex— being accepted by her girlfriend’s family— stirred up feelings within her that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She may have found friends within the alien community of National City, but being with Alex was a different type of belonging.

With a knock, the rest of the so-called Super Friends arrived and soon the party was in full swing. And after the hanukkiah had been lit, far too many latkes had been eaten, and Maggie had won the lion’s share of gelt (much to Kara’s chagrin), Alex pulled Maggie aside and asked her to stay the night.

While it wasn’t the first time Maggie had slept beside Alex in bed— that had been last week after a movie night at Maggie’s apartment— it felt different when she woke the next morning.  Her girlfriend had shared a piece of her life that clearly meant a lot (Maggie had seen the flicker of sadness in her eyes as she recited the blessings, and filed it away in her mind for later), and she had felt so welcomed and _warm_.

She slipped out of bed as quietly as she could, and crept towards Alex’s kitchen. She was still getting used to where her girlfriend kept everything, but eventually she found the coffee filters.

It was only when she turned back to the living room that something caught her eye. Something that hadn’t been there the night before— a Christmas tree. It wasn’t large, five foot tops, but Maggie was still stunned.

A pair of arms snaked around her waist, and Alex’s chin came to rest on her shoulder. Maggie smiled, leaning back into the embrace. “When did you get that?”

“Kara and I went out last night.” Alex’s breath tickled her neck and Maggie couldn’t help but shiver. “They’re much cheaper on Christmas Eve.”

“I didn’t even hear you get up.”

“I _am_ a secret agent,” Alex teased, “Do you like it? Was this okay? I just… You came over for Hanukkah and it was amazing but I realized you didn’t get to celebrate Christmas and I just wanted you to feel included and—”

Maggie turned to face Alex, taking her face between her hands and kissing her soundly to stem the rambling. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Alex grinned, pleased, and dragged Maggie over to the tree. Maggie ran her fingers along the bristles, losing herself in memories of Christmases long past. _Of running along rows and rows of trees, her father close behind, giggling with glee until she stopped in front of the biggest one. Her father coming to a stop beside her, one hand on her shoulder._

“Maggie?”

She snapped back to the present and suddenly the hand on her shoulder was her girlfriend’s. Maggie shook her head, fixing a smile on her face. “Sorry I was just admiring it. It’s beautiful.”

“I got you something too.” Alex directed her attention to the single package sitting underneath the tree.

Maggie tilted her head to the side. “You didn’t have to do that, the sweater last night was enough.”

“That was for Hanukkah. This is for Christmas.” Alex bent down to pick up the gift, brushing a few stray needles from where they had fallen from the tree.

“You spoil me, Danvers.”

It was a joke— a deflection from the feelings that were stirring within— but the sentiment was true. Alex didn’t even celebrate Christmas, but had still gone to the trouble of bringing some of it to her apartment just to see Maggie smile.

Maggie unwrapped the paper carefully, opening the box inside to reveal an ornament— a beautiful golden hanukkiah, just like the one they had lit the night before.

“I thought, well, something to represent our first holiday together?” Alex tucked her hair behind an ear, and smiled sheepishly.

“I love it.”

Maggie hung the ornament on the tree and then wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, pulling her in for another kiss. Her hands dipped under the hem of Alex’s loose henley, enjoying the way her girlfriend whimpered. She let herself get lost in the feeling of Alex’s lips and her smell and the warmth of her hands.

A knock sounded, shocking them both apart.

Alex pulled away, breathing deeply, pupils blown wide. “That would be Kara and my mom.”

They shared one last kiss, and Alex reluctantly moved to answer the door. Kara barreled in, arms full of Christmas decorations and more Chinese take out than Maggie had ever seen. Eliza was close behind, stopping to give Maggie a quick hug, before heading to the kitchen to help her daughters unpack.

Maggie glanced back over at the tree and her new ornament sparkling in the sunlight streaming in from the window. She really did love it and all that it represented. And while she wasn’t anywhere near ready to say it— they had only been dating a short while— Maggie was fairly sure that she was falling in love with Alex Danvers too.

 

* * *

 

 ****Maggie’s phone buzzes, and she sets the hanukkiah down next to the police car. She unlocks her phone to find a text from her wife.

>> Our daughter made a new friend.

The text is quickly followed by a picture of Jamie’s face being licked by a reindeer. The young girl’s face is contorted into a grimace and Maggie can’t help but laugh. Jamie had been chattering on and on about getting to maybe meet one of Santa’s reindeer at the Christmas Tree Farm, and it seems that she’s less than thrilled about getting her wish.

She saves the photo and sets it as her new background image before turning back to the task at hand. The next ornament is flat and oval and brings tears to her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 ****Maggie Sawyer never saw herself as a mother.

At least not before she met Alex Danvers. But Alex made her rethink so many things she thought she knew about herself. She never thought she liked working with a partner either, but then a stuffy fed walked onto her crime scene and now she couldn’t imagine anyone else watching her six.

So yeah, maybe she never pictured herself with a kid, never thought she’d want to settle down even. But with Alex? Raising a kid with the woman she loved? With the woman she wanted to marry? Yeah. That sounded pretty good.

And seeing Alex interact with a small alien kid on a shared crime scene earlier that week? Maggie would be lying if she said that didn’t send her mind into overdrive. Suddenly, in between thoughts about possible leads for cases, she was daydreaming about Alex and their kid attempting silly science projects together as she watched on fondly.

“I do want kids with you,” she blurted out after dinner one night.

She hadn’t planned to broach the subject, but she’d just gotten back from a weekend seminar in Metropolis, and Alex had surprised her with a home cooked meal and her favorite tiramisu from that place downtown, and Maggie found herself so completely struck by how much she felt for this woman that the words just poured out.

Alex nearly dropped the plates she was carrying to the kitchen. “What?”

Maggie stood up from the table and strode into the kitchen, taking the plates from Alex and setting them down by the sink so she could take Alex’s hands in hers. “I said I didn’t see myself as a mother. That I didn’t want kids. But I can with you. I can see us together. As a family.”

Alex’s response was swift— their lips met in a bruising kiss, and Alex tugged her by the arm towards their bedroom, dishes long forgotten.

They were married the following summer, although the date had to be pushed back twice due to unforeseen near apocalypses, and it was the biggest, gayest wedding National City had ever seen. Standing at the end of the aisle in a suit tailored by Winn, watching as her future wife was escorted down the aisle by J’onn, Maggie was sure that her wedding day would be the best day of her life.

They talked about having kids frequently after, but decided that they wanted time to themselves for a bit to travel and focus on their careers and each other. But two years later, after Maggie was promoted to Sergeant and Alex was settled into her new role as the Director of the DEO, they felt like they were ready.

Taking the first pregnancy test was nerve wracking and exciting all at the same time, and when it was negative, they just agreed to try again. But then one negative pregnancy test turned into two. And then two turned into three. And Maggie held her wife as she cried every night, comforting each other through the stress and the tears.

They both knew they had other options— adoption would have been a lovely way to start their family— but the idea that they could have their own kid aided by Alex’s advancements in science? It was too tempting not to try one more time.

It was nearly Christmas again, and Maggie was stressed. Alex had been fairly positive that the outcome of the most recent procedure would be successful, but the past week Maggie had noticed her pulling away. She couldn’t help but feel like Alex was hiding something from her. She trusted her wife, but she still worried. What if she was sick?

Their relationship had always been based on honest, open communication, but Maggie knew that sometimes Alex needed to be prodded to open up. That night, Maggie would do it. If something was truly wrong, they would handle it together— ride or die.

When she got home though, Alex was already there, sitting on the couch with a wrapped box on her lap.

“Hey babe,” Maggie greeted her with a kiss. “Wrapping presents?”

“Just this one.” Alex’s fingers fiddled with the bow on top of the package nervously. “I couldn’t wait to give it to you.”

Maggie took the box and examined it closely. She looked to Alex for any clue as to what could be inside, but her wife’s poker face held. With a deep breath, she peeled back the paper to reveal a small ornament. This wasn’t out of the ordinary by any means, Alex had made it a tradition to give Maggie a new one every year since that first Hanukkah, but when Maggie turned it over in her hand and read the inscription, tears immediately welled up in her eyes. _Baby’s First Christmas_.

She turned to Alex, not daring to hope. “Does this mean...?”

“We’re going to be moms.” Alex’s smile was wide and her eyes are glossy with unshed tears as well.

 

* * *

 

Maggie rubs the surface of the ornament and smiles. Her wedding was the best day of her life, but that moment was a close second.

They’d have to get another one soon, she muses. Maybe this time, Jamie can pick one out for her new baby sister. The little girl had been so excited when she and Alex had sat her down on the couch to break the news. She had squealed with joy and then immediately launched into an array of questions.

Maggie chuckles as she roots through the box once more. Their daughter was every bit as inquisitive as her wife, and the next ornament she pulls out is a testament to that.

 

* * *

 

“Mom, is Santa real?”

Maggie nearly choked on her tea. She looked over to her wife for assistance but Alex just shook her head. One of the first conversations they had when they were considering having a kid was how they would handle winter holidays, and they had decided that Alex would handle any discussions of Hanukkah, while Maggie would get to teach their daughter about Christmas.

She just didn’t anticipate this question so soon.

Jamie stood in the doorway of the living room, her stuffed otter clutched tightly to her chest. Her head was tilted to the side, brow furrowed.

Maggie would have to tread carefully. She set her mug down on the coffee table and patted the space on the couch next to her. Jamie shuffled over, the hems of her favorite plaid pj bottoms dragging across the floor, and hoisted herself up next to her mom, snuggling into Maggie’s side.

“Why wouldn’t Santa be real, sweetie?”

“Well…” Small fingers traced patterns along the fur of the soft toy as Jamie gathered her thoughts. “Santa has to go to all the houses around the world, right?”

“Right.” Maggie curled an arm around her daughter.

“But he only has reindeer and a sleigh... The deers at the zoo don’t go real fast.”

“Well they’re _magic_ reindeer,” Maggie stressed, hoping that would be enough of an answer. Unfortunately, Jamie was having none of it. She just lifted a small, skeptical eyebrow and frowned, dimples deepening and Maggie thought— not for the first time— that if she wanted to, her daughter would make an excellent detective.

Thankfully, Alex chose that moment to rescue her wife, easing herself down onto the couch on Jamie’s other side. “You’ve seen Supergirl fly, right sweetie?”

“Yes!”

“And she can fly really fast right?”

The five-year-old nodded. “Really, really fast. Like faster than rocket ships.”

Alex caught Maggie’s eye over their daughter’s curls and winked. Maggie knew where she was headed with this, and followed her lead.

“Supergirl happens to be friends with Santa.” Maggie said matter-of-factly.

Jamie’s eyes grew impossibly wide. “She does?”

“She absolutely does.” Alex tapped Jamie’s nose with her forefinger. “She was telling me all about it at work. She will be helping Santa out.”

“Wow!” Jamie exclaimed, “Do you think that Supergirl will come to our house instead of Santa this year?”

“I think she just might,” Maggie confirmed with a wink.

“I gotta go write another letter to Supergirl then!” Jamie bounced off the couch and dashed to her room, returning with a pad of paper and crayons. Tools in hand, she sprawled out onto the floor of the living room, trusty stuffed toy at her side, and proceeded to furiously scribble.

Maggie shifted on the couch, leaning into Alex’s side. “She’s too smart sometimes, she gets that from you.”

Alex laughed and tossed an arm around Maggie’s shoulder, stroking it with her thumb. “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Later, when Maggie and Jamie were at the store picking up a new string of Christmas lights because Alex couldn’t get the old ones untangled, a small ornament caught Jamie’s eye. She tugged at Maggie’s jacket to get her attention, fixing her mother with her best pair of puppy-dog eyes. When Maggie saw what it was, she couldn’t help but chuckle, instantly agreeing that they _had_ to have it.

That night, a new ornament featuring National City’s favorite superhero found its place on the Sawyer-Danvers family Christmas tree.

 

* * *

 

 ****The sound of a key in the doorknob pulls Maggie back to the present, and she places the Supergirl ornament back in the box for the time being. Jamie bounds through the door first, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Mom! Mom! We got the biggest one!”

“The biggest one, huh?” Maggie stands and goes to help Jamie unzip her coat. “How big?”

“Hmmmmm…” The little girl rocks back and forth on her heels. “Bigger than Grandpa J’onn. No. Bigger than an elephant!”

“It’s certainly big,” Alex chuckles as she kicks off her boots by the doorway. She wraps an arm gently around Maggie’s waist and kisses her softly. “Hey you. Find her shoes?”

“Unfortunately, no. Got a little distracted.” She motions to the box still sitting on the floor.

“Ahhh.” Alex nods knowingly. “Everything okay? You’re a bit misty eyed there.”

“Just remembering.” Maggie stands, brushing imaginary dust off of her knees and kissing her wife hello. “Where’s the tree?”

As if on cue, the tip of a Christmas tree appears in the door, followed by Kara, clearly pretending to strain under the weight of the tree for the benefit of her niece. Thankfully, it’s not quite as big as Jamie described, although to a six-year-old, it must certainly seem that way.

That night after dinner, Maggie gathers with her little family in the living room to trim the tree. As the tallest, Alex gets the job of wrapping it with tinsel and strings of multicolored lights, while Maggie hands Jamie an ornament one by one to hang on the branches closer to the ground.

She pauses when her hand touches an ornament that had fallen to the bottom of the box. It’s small and slightly dented, and her heart clenches as she watches tiny fingers place it in the middle of the tree.

Of all of the ornaments in her collection, she’s had it the longest. And when she got it, she never expected that it would end up on a tree like this.

 

* * *

 

 ****Christmas in Blue Springs, Nebraska was a big deal.

The town wasn’t anything special, in Maggie’s opinion, at least for most of the year. The houses were nice enough— not falling apart or anything— but they weren’t the kind of houses that Maggie would see on television, with their multiple stories and expansive front lawns. The population was small, and that sort of familiarity meant that everyone knew everyone else’s business. Differences were eyed with suspicion, not celebrated, and rumors spread all too quickly.

But when Christmastime rolled around, the entire town of Blue Springs transformed. Everyone would put aside any of the squabbles they’d had in the previous year to come together like one big family to turn the streets into a winter wonderland. Neighbors would help each other string lights from lamppost to lamppost, pies and other treats would be exchanged, and when it would finally start to snow, all the kids would be outside laughing and playing, Maggie among them.

She loved every minute of it.

Her most cherished memories of her childhood in Blue Springs were the times spent decorating the Rodas family house with her father. Every year without fail, on the first day of December, Maggie would get to ride shotgun in her father’s police cruiser as they drove home from the woods with a massive pine strapped to the top of the car. Then, while her mom was busy in the kitchen, her dad would drag the well-worn box of Christmas decorations up from the basement and he and Maggie would set to work, turning a simple tree into a thing of holiday magic in their living room.

There would be tinsel, and twinkling lights, and so many ornaments collected over the years. But the best part was the large silver star that would sit at the very top. When she was little, her dad would lift her up onto his shoulders so that she could be the one to have the honor of placing it. As the years went on and she got heavier— but not taller— he’d be standing at the foot of the ladder, making sure she didn’t fall.

During the last Christmas she spent with her parents, after the tree had been decorated, her father had thrown his arm around her shoulder.

“One day, Margarita, you’ll get to do this with your own son or daughter.” She remembered him saying as the twinkling lights from the tree reflected in his glassy eyes. “And I’ll be right there, watching you with pride.”

Two months later though, her father found the valentine she’d made for Eliza Wilkey and the words he threw at his only daughter were not words of pride, but of hate and vitriol. He dropped her off at her aunt’s apartment with only a small suitcase, her backpack, and a broken heart.

The following December, Maggie had been morose. The twinkling lights wrapped around the lampposts in Omaha didn’t fill her with joy and the smell of gingerbread made her stomach twist in knots. She had resigned herself to the idea that she might never enjoy the holiday season again.

On the last day of school before winter break, Maggie trudged through the snow back to her aunt’s apartment building. All of the other kids had been chattering all day about how they were going to go to on vacation or spend time with family, but Maggie didn’t have any plans. Her aunt had been working extra shifts during the holiday season, so she had gotten used to spending time alone. But when Maggie turned her key in the lock and entered the apartment, her senses were overloaded with what could only be described as holiday cheer.

The sweet, gingery smell of freshly baked cookies wafted from the small kitchenette and Christmas carols were playing over the radio. A small stack of presents that weren’t there when she left for school was sitting in the corner of the apartment and right on her aunt’s rickety, stained coffee table was a small Christmas tree.

Maggie’s hands had flown up to cover her mouth, rendered speechless by the scene. But it wasn’t the presents, or the cookies, or even the tree that finally brought tears to fifteen year old Maggie’s eyes. It was the small, star shaped ornament her aunt handed her— the one that looked just like the star that she once had the honor of placing on the top of the tree at her parents’ house.

And as Maggie mumbled teary _thank you’s_ into her aunt’s shoulder, she decided then and there that she wouldn’t let her parents ruin Christmas for her. She could make her own traditions.

 

* * *

 

Small hands tug at the hem of her shirt.

“All done mom!” Her daughter chirps. Jamie’s eyes are shining with delight, and Maggie finds herself mirroring her smile, even as her own eyes glisten with unshed tears.

Alex comes to stand next to Maggie, winding an arm around her wife’s waist, and Maggie rests her head onto her shoulder.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Alex asks.

Maggie turns from the tree to look at Alex and Jamie. “Yeah. Beautiful.”

The trauma from her childhood still haunts her, and her days are often filled with the worst reflections of humanity, but she is so grateful that she has this wonderful family to come home to. And as long as she has them, no matter what, she is good.

She kisses her wife on the cheek, then kneels down to hoist Jamie up onto her shoulders. The little girl giggles with glee as Maggie helps her place a glimmering star silver star on the very top of the tree.

 


End file.
